Adultlescence: Top Gun Reference

Today, I read this blog post. I have been debating on writing about this for a while, but I always have such a weird, backward time trying to explain my thoughts on the matter. I flip flop over insignificant details depending on my mood or the context. Some days I feel traditional, some days I'm liberal. Some days I feel like a hardcore feminazi bull dyke. Other days I can't stop fantasizing about being someone's little housewife. So you can see how it can be difficult to express my opinion. "All women should be treated like A, except in situations like B, C, or D."  What I can say for certain is that yes, in my experience, every girl has felt the way the author of that post has felt. Threatened, objectified, used, powerless.

Anyone who knows me knows that I have a lot of control issues. I don't necessarily want to be in charge of everything all the time, but I need to know all of the gritty details about any plan or I am working at a high stress level. I don't need to be in command of the group, but I need to have full control on my own part. No big deal, right? Since I surround myself primarily with men, it is fairly common that I will go with the flow of whatever they want to do that day. If they want to play Rock Band all afternoon, that's no problem. I'm playing the drums and don't try to take them from me. But what about those instances where I don't have the same kind of weight as the man I'm speaking with? How many times have I, or one of my female employees had some dirty old man say something slightly sleazy and I or she would laugh uncomfortably and excuse herself from his company as quickly as possible? And what else can you do, really? Women are told very young to be agreeable, quiet, polite. Girls are told to be nice, but boys will be boys.

The problem, I think, is that right now, the feminist movement has been taking the wrong approach to making the changes they want to see happen. Women are not equal because we are better. I've always thought that was a ridiculous argument to take. Yes, childbirth (I've heard) is incredibly excruciating. A pain no man could ever really understand. Periods happen every month and there are days I think I may never be able to walk upright again, but you move on. Let's face it, girls have it pretty shitty. I know I'll never truly understand the feeling of getting kicked in the balls, but my roommate will never fathom what it's like to wake up in the morning on the first day of 'shark week' and have muscle cramps from the middle of your back down to your knees. God, just look at the difference between sexes when they have a head cold. It is a woman's role to silently persevere.

Now is the part of the blog post where I become the uppity bitch I supposedly am for thinking this in the first place and I give all the dumb little ladies a mental shake-down (sorry, boys). It is not your job to be polite when a man is making you uncomfortable. It is not right, when a guy is pressing you too hard about going on a date with him and you are uncomfortable, to give him an excuse instead of telling him straight that you don't want to. If a man is out of line, you let him know and you let him know immediately. Ladies, let's get real here for a second. Let's have a life talk. Nothing is ever going to change if you don't speak up.I'm not going to stop shaving my legs or start burning bras, that phase of the evolution of women's rights has passed. Now is the time for us to settle this matter as adults. Once and for all.

But ladies, what is it that we are asking for? If we are trying to send a message to those big, mean boys, can we first agree on what that message is? We are telling (asking) them how to behave and what is acceptable when we can't clearly decide unanimously what they can't (shouldn't) do and what is unacceptable. I can't decide which is worse for women, the Nazi man-haters who will hate on the young women who choose to explore their right to sexual freedom, or the slutty bimbos who make girls looks like objects in the eyes of all of those chauvenist pigs.

We come in all shapes, sizes and colours. We may be cis or transgendered, gay, straight, bi or asexual, but we are all women. We share each others pain and celebrate each others achievements. We're all fighting the same fight, here. We're on the same team.

I could easily get off-topic here and begin a long-winded tangent about all of the horrible things girls do to each other and how hateful we can be to one another, but that isn't the direction I want to go with this. I don't want to point fingers or dwell on the negatives. If you really want to know why girls hate each other, check out this video by Jenna Marbles. She is totally on the right page.

So this is what it has to come down to, ladies. If we want to take down the patriarch, we have to support each other. If you don't want to be promiscuous, you don't have to. If you don't want to put on make up or style your hair every day, then use those extra moments to sleep in. Enjoy it! If you want to dress up every day and wear your heels wherever you go, you rock those shoes, girl. But remember, my dear, darling girls, that is your choice to make. It is the same choice every girl makes and just because it isn't what YOU choose, she isn't wrong. We need to create a united front if we are ever going to make progress. We need to have each others backs. Honestly, if we are ever going to fight against men, we need to stop fighting over them.  

Adultlesence: Nerd.

Sometimes I get the odd chance to act a little recklessly. I'm not a misreable old lady every day and I love using my chances to be impulsive to their maximum extent. That's why I'm looking forward to Hal-con so much this year. I'm going to be cosplaying as Lady Deadpool which means, for those of you out there whoaren't fluent in geek speak, I'll be wearing a full face mask while I'm in costume.

Have you ever been to one of these nerd conventions? You put as many people who are genuinely passionate about the same things into a room as possible, and add caffeine. Normally, North Americans are very reserved when it comes to physical interactions, but these rules do not apply at a convention. When you're there, you should be expecting a lot of high fives, hugs, handshakes, fist bumps, and the classic awkward half-hug for pictures.You should expect to get touched. For a nerd, this is just an outlet to express their passion about their fandom. It can be overwhelming. I think that's why nerds get belittled by the rest of the world. We have no social propriety when it comes to, say, our favourite TV show (Firefly! <3). We whoop and shout and squeal like children over something most people would consider trivial. I think that they're just jealous, though. They walk with their heads held high with uptight reservation, but we skip everywhere we go and we high five strangers in the street because we like that person's X-Men t-shirt.

"I like your Jersey Shore shirt!" Said no one ever.

 I don't like to wear my Green Lantern ring to work so much anymore. When random customers come in and comment on it, I feel awkward. I don't know what to say. Did you like the movie? I don't know! Its a weird interaction and I'd rather just avoid it than have it. I love my Green Lantern ring! I wear it everywhere I go, regardless of forced awkward small talk. It makes me feel like a super hero, which can be pretty uplifting when one is sitting in ones pajamas at 2:30 in the morning on a Sunday night.

Maybe, briefly, while I am disguised in full costume with my face hidden, I can be so stupefied by the things that I love so much. I don't have to make tedious small talk with a stranger for a prolonged period of time because I wanted to compliment their costume. Fuck that, they don't know me! I run over, say whatever I want to say to them, and run away. I don't have to be polite when they don't know who I am, just in case I ever meet them again. I can be completely bonkers and make an ass of myself like I always do, but on such a grander scale. Without pedantic rituals of etiquette, I can be 100% myself as I want to behave with minimal consequence. And what's more, its encouraged! This is part of the fun of being at a convention and I will be one of just many dancing, yelling jesters in the court.

If you're going to be in Halifax next weekend and want to check out what I mean, come visit me at Hal-Con!