Adultlescence: Gear Down, Big Rig

Let me begin by saying that there isn't a special subcategory of society for women's rights and it bothers me when it is implied there is. Women's rights are human rights. Period.

 

Due to recent events and discussions (hi, Zach! <3) some points on female equality have come to my attention that I haven't commented on that I feel I need to. I'm standing on my soap box today to dole out some good ol' down home May Again opinions.

 

When a group like Rapebook are running around the internet, quelling the rights of others, it really gives the movement a bad name. When you're out lynching everything you as an individual or group disagree with, what you are doing is stomping on these people and their freedom of speech and the right to expression. you aren't doing battle with the patriarchy, you're censoring social media. You are treating the symptom without getting at the cause, and because of this you are only burning bridges instead of reaching out. No person who would make jokes about violence against women is going to think twice about the issue at hand if all you are doing is telling them what they can and cannot share. they are going to feel attacked. They are going to become defensive or strike back. This was the case with the well intentioned but poorly executed Rapebook, and it has since been shut down. Any person with misogynist tendencies who is silenced will only have those ideas reinforced. in the long run, it is our own cause that is hurt.

 

Do I think these jokes are funny? Do I support those individuals out there who create and share this kind of media? What am I, some kind of backward anti-feminist antagonist? No, no, definitely not. Hell, I don't consider myself a feminist, but I say this in the same way that I say that I don't consider myself a Christian. There are more points that I can agree with than disagree with, and I will support anyone who chooses to identify as such, but it does not fit me accurately enough to be referred by. What I am is a human rights activist. IN-activist really. I wouldn't call my life very active. More accurately still, I am a tolerance activist. I am a 'mind your business' activist. 'Feminist' has too many one-sided arguments and feels too narrow for me. I like to think that I can support men and women equally and a title like 'feminist' doesn't leave enough breathing room for me. Keep all of this in mind as you continue reading. My thoughts and opinions are in regards to the individuals they are in reference to, not any particular sect of the movement or God forbid you think I mean feminism as a whole.

 

Standing up for what you believe in will be one of the hardest things you will ever face in your adult life. I say adult life because up until that point there is only a facade of singularity, but that is a discussion for another day. The first time you have to stand all alone and say 'no' when the whole world is telling you yes will never be easy. What ever is that is worth it? The effort makes the spoils even sweeter. You do not back down, you do not quit. You stand your ground and defend your ideas with passion. Not everyone is going to agree with you. There are going to be people out there who will fight you right back. "Yes!" They'll scream in your face. They'll spit on you, insult you, do anything in their power to shut you up and shut you down.

 

Keep your back straight, keep a strong jaw.

 

Take a deep breath.

 

You can handle that bullshit. you don't need to be a victim to them. You don't even need to give them the time of day. A person willing to resort to such childish bullying tactics aren't likely going to be willing to have a rational discussion with you. Don't feed the trolls. You're better off just giving them the brush off. At the end of the day, their words have no effect. they can only bring you down as much as your tender heart lets them. Fck 'em, haters gonna hate. (But never stop trying to open paths of discussion, it is the only effective tool.)

 

Okay, now take another deep breath. You may not like the rest of this.

 

At the end of the night, your personal opinion amounts to as much to them as theirs does to you. That isn't a whole hell of a lot, if you're doing it right. What makes feminists, male rights activists, what all activist groups that are only speaking up for one group is missing seems so obvious to me. Actually, there are a few things. Here is a list!

-No matter how passionately you feel about a cause, you are just as capable of being wrong as those you appose. Just because you are speaking from the heart does not necessarily mean you are speaking factually. Please check your sources and educate yourself while educating others. Make sure that you're speaking from reason and truth as well.

 

-The opposition have just as much right to free speech as you do. In your effort to promote your cause, there should never be a time that you are actively trying to silence another. It is not about being the only voice heard, it is about being the clearest. Let your message resonate with those who hear it. You have to let society think critically and learn on its own. you can't just scream the loudest and expect to win. That didn't even work out in kindergarten. this is why people like the redhead in the U of T videos looks insane to the general public and this is why people like her are hurting us.

 

-Society is not one organism. Society is formed of millions of people that think, feel, and react in unique and individual ways. To say that all something are something is just as damning as saying they are not. your adversary is included in this. Do not presume to know them based on their stance. Each and every one of us is a person alone and comprised of much more than gender, heritage, faith practices, sexuality, age, weight, or how that individual chooses to dress. Don't assume to know what my feelings are about women's rights because I am a woman. Do not assume to know my opinions on justice because you have had others act similarly unjust to you. Do not assume to know my education, finances, or choices I have made with my life based on my employment. The only way to know these things about me, about anyone, about a method of thought, is to take the time to learn. Ask questions.

The reason I bring this up is because of a phrase that is apparently quite popular, but i had just heard. "Your rights end where my feelings begin." Uh, what? No. This is not true, and I'm not sure how anyone could even hold that notion. A person's rights are not up for your moral approval. You can't help what offends you, it is true. At the same time, you can't help what you find amusing either. Just because it isn't your taste in humor does not mean you can decide for everyone. This applies beyond feminism, this is for everyone and everything. When it comes to justice, and that's what this boils down to, your reason should guide you, not your feelings.

 

I hope that anyone who is strong enough to stand up for what they believe in is also strong enough to handle the criticism. If you can't, then you are partially to blame for your own suffering. There isn't an internet police force, and when you put yourself out here, you are opening up a pathway of communication. You may not necessarily like what you get in return, but the same applies to any media and any message. Always remember, there has never been a statue erected of a critic.

 

I will stand behind anyone who is fighting for freedom, whether for an individual, a group, or all of us together. I have nothing but respect for those out there facing down the (figurative.Literal?) loaded gun every day, but I can by no means condone silencing another for your own gain. What we are all fighting for is equality, right? The same rights and freedoms, regardless of sex, race, religion or what have you. This includes free speech. Why would a person want to rob another of that for their own benefit? If you are protesting for the tolerance of women in society, lead by example and show those chauvinists what the word really means.