Today, I read this blog post. I have been debating on writing about this for a while, but I always have such a weird, backward time trying to explain my thoughts on the matter. I flip flop over insignificant details depending on my mood or the context. Some days I feel traditional, some days I'm liberal. Some days I feel like a hardcore feminazi bull dyke. Other days I can't stop fantasizing about being someone's little housewife. So you can see how it can be difficult to express my opinion. "All women should be treated like A, except in situations like B, C, or D." What I can say for certain is that yes, in my experience, every girl has felt the way the author of that post has felt. Threatened, objectified, used, powerless.
Anyone who knows me knows that I have a lot of control issues. I don't necessarily want to be in charge of everything all the time, but I need to know all of the gritty details about any plan or I am working at a high stress level. I don't need to be in command of the group, but I need to have full control on my own part. No big deal, right? Since I surround myself primarily with men, it is fairly common that I will go with the flow of whatever they want to do that day. If they want to play Rock Band all afternoon, that's no problem. I'm playing the drums and don't try to take them from me. But what about those instances where I don't have the same kind of weight as the man I'm speaking with? How many times have I, or one of my female employees had some dirty old man say something slightly sleazy and I or she would laugh uncomfortably and excuse herself from his company as quickly as possible? And what else can you do, really? Women are told very young to be agreeable, quiet, polite. Girls are told to be nice, but boys will be boys.
The problem, I think, is that right now, the feminist movement has been taking the wrong approach to making the changes they want to see happen. Women are not equal because we are better. I've always thought that was a ridiculous argument to take. Yes, childbirth (I've heard) is incredibly excruciating. A pain no man could ever really understand. Periods happen every month and there are days I think I may never be able to walk upright again, but you move on. Let's face it, girls have it pretty shitty. I know I'll never truly understand the feeling of getting kicked in the balls, but my roommate will never fathom what it's like to wake up in the morning on the first day of 'shark week' and have muscle cramps from the middle of your back down to your knees. God, just look at the difference between sexes when they have a head cold. It is a woman's role to silently persevere.
Now is the part of the blog post where I become the uppity bitch I supposedly am for thinking this in the first place and I give all the dumb little ladies a mental shake-down (sorry, boys). It is not your job to be polite when a man is making you uncomfortable. It is not right, when a guy is pressing you too hard about going on a date with him and you are uncomfortable, to give him an excuse instead of telling him straight that you don't want to. If a man is out of line, you let him know and you let him know immediately. Ladies, let's get real here for a second. Let's have a life talk. Nothing is ever going to change if you don't speak up.I'm not going to stop shaving my legs or start burning bras, that phase of the evolution of women's rights has passed. Now is the time for us to settle this matter as adults. Once and for all.
But ladies, what is it that we are asking for? If we are trying to send a message to those big, mean boys, can we first agree on what that message is? We are telling (asking) them how to behave and what is acceptable when we can't clearly decide unanimously what they can't (shouldn't) do and what is unacceptable. I can't decide which is worse for women, the Nazi man-haters who will hate on the young women who choose to explore their right to sexual freedom, or the slutty bimbos who make girls looks like objects in the eyes of all of those chauvenist pigs.
We come in all shapes, sizes and colours. We may be cis or transgendered, gay, straight, bi or asexual, but we are all women. We share each others pain and celebrate each others achievements. We're all fighting the same fight, here. We're on the same team.
I could easily get off-topic here and begin a long-winded tangent about all of the horrible things girls do to each other and how hateful we can be to one another, but that isn't the direction I want to go with this. I don't want to point fingers or dwell on the negatives. If you really want to know why girls hate each other, check out this video by Jenna Marbles. She is totally on the right page.
So this is what it has to come down to, ladies. If we want to take down the patriarch, we have to support each other. If you don't want to be promiscuous, you don't have to. If you don't want to put on make up or style your hair every day, then use those extra moments to sleep in. Enjoy it! If you want to dress up every day and wear your heels wherever you go, you rock those shoes, girl. But remember, my dear, darling girls, that is your choice to make. It is the same choice every girl makes and just because it isn't what YOU choose, she isn't wrong. We need to create a united front if we are ever going to make progress. We need to have each others backs. Honestly, if we are ever going to fight against men, we need to stop fighting over them.
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